• If it pinches the first time, it sure will pinch later.Shoes should fit comfortably immediately.

• The pair may be one to die for but you still need healthy feet so pick one that allows you  room to wiggle your toes for continued blood circulation.

• You want to stand tall at the occasion so wear shoes several times at home after purchase to ensure comfort.
• Rub sand paper on the soles of your shoe to make them non-slip.

• You have heard this one before but we cannot stress this enough-shop for your shoes in the afternoon.

Feet tend to swell during the day by as much as 10%

Whatever month your wedding or party is in, wherever the location, it could be indoors or outdoors, theme-in your event will not only add magic to the affair but will help create a one of a kind event that will leave a lasting impression on your guests minds.

As seen on my dream wedding Elijah and Joy choose to have a musical theme and incorporated personalized dance and music performances. Elijah performed a song and took time to learn to play the saxophone just to perform on the day. As for Joy she performed a special dance routine with the bridesmaid at the reception. At the end of the day they were both fulfilled and happy about the decision.

In Kenya today, couples preparing to host a wedding, when asked about a theme most present a color scheme.

Let us start out by not confusing the two.

A theme should be an idea, a motif to which you can plan all aspects of your event around. It helps create a sense of continuity throughout all aspects of your event. This is not to say however that a colour couldn’t be your theme but if it is, try sticking to one. Four colors is a color scheme, one is a theme.

Why theme weddings & parties?

It helps create a definitive event and also ensures that your personal style can be reflected in the occasion. I encourage you to think outside the box. Take your guests on a journey. Use your theme as a motif that will be repeated throughout all areas of your event, from the décor to the food, the clothes and the music.

How can I go about coming up with a theme?

Inspiration for a theme can come from anywhere, anything as vague as a vase you love to your favorite movie, a country you would give an arm and a leg to visit to your cultural roots. Once you’ve found your theme, make a list of all aspects of your event and decide which you can tune into your chosen theme.

A quick example:

If you love salsa, you could design your event around a Latin theme by incorporating the following into your planning:

• Printers: Your invitations and RSVP cards could be fan shaped and with red ink, probably with a silhouette of a couple doing ‘the forbidden dance’. Programmes could carry the same silhouette
• Clothes: Could dress the men up in matador style clothes and women in white frilly blouses with long, flowing, brightly colored skirts. Flowers in the hair are a definite yes
• Decor: Filled with vibrant colors such as reds, yellows and, for contrast, black. Something creative like a walkway of Red Hot Chilli Peppers could even cut down your décor costs
• Food: Go Spanish or Mexican

• Music: Try salsa/flamenco
• Take the bridal party for salsa lessons and invite a salsa instructor to your party to help encourage the guests to party

Of course you can’t cover all aspects of your event such as rings but the more you do, the clearer the theme. Something to note: A special cocktail is a festive way to launch a reception-or caps it off. Pick one that adds a splash to your decor and fits into your theme. Over the next few pages we shall give you ideas on how to go about executing a theme event. We shall give you examples of themes and help you find sources for everything you require to effectively carry it out.

1.How much should I expect my bridesmaids to be willing to spend on their dress?

Expenses for attendants can add up quickly, from travel, clothing to participation in parties and showers. People in their 20s and 30s may find themselves invited to attend or participate in several weddings in the same year, which can cause serious financial stress. Keep this in mind when you ask a friend or relative to be in your wedding. In order to avoid hearing grumbles about money, choose a bridesmaid dress that is reasonably priced ask your bridesmaids what they consider reasonable since they are the ones who will be spending the money or work together with your party to find a dress that’s both within their style and budget. Brides are not required to pay for bridesmaid dresses, but if you want your maids to wear something more expensive, consider adding it to your own budget or paying for half. Try to mitigate expenses elsewhere too if they’re buying the dresses, don’t make them buy jewellery and shoes too.

2.If I don’t want my bridesmaids to match, what are some alternatives?

Your bridesmaids’ dresses certainly don’t have to be exact matches. Many brides will offer their bridesmaids a range of styles to choose from dresses in the same fabric and color (or a range of colors) but with different cuts, or even different patterns. If you want to give your attendants even more freedom with their dresses, you could provide them with guidelines regarding dress fabric, length, color, and level of formality and let them select their own bridesmaids’ dresses. The maid or matron of honor’s dresses and flowers can also be a different color, fabric, and style than the other bridesmaids’. Bridesmaids’ shoes are generally the same type – most brides opt to put their attendants in pumps or sandals – and color, but they don’t have to be the exact same shoe. Some brides choose their attendants’ hairstyles and hair accessories. Jewellery can tie your bridesmaids’ outfits and hairstyles together if they aren’t wearing the same exact dresses and hairstyles. You can provide key pieces of jewellery to them as your bridesmaids’ gifts, or discuss it carefully with them to ensure that the pieces they choose aren’t too busy, loud, or off-color.

3. The wearing white to a wedding thread got me thinking. Is it appropriate to wear a bridesmaid’s dress to another wedding (assuming it looks completely different from that wedding’s bridesmaids dresses). I have a bridesmaids’ dress that isn’t too fancy (knee length) but is that classic bridesmaid’s dress material-satiny. I was planning on wearing it to a wedding this coming December, but don’t want to look like I’m trying to be a bridesmaid. I feel like if it’s not worn to a wedding, when the heck would I ever wear it again (as it is with every other expensive bridesmaid dress I suppose). It all depends. Does it LOOK like a bride’s maid’s dress? You know what I mean. Some dresses just scream BRIDE’S MAID! Also, is it a dress from a well-known shop? If lots of your friends have been planning weddings in the past few years, chances are, they’ve seen it and know. If this is not the case, it is entirely possible you could wear it again to a wedding. Usually though, a BM dress that has the best chance of being worn again is one that is tea-length, that can be dressed up for the wedding then dressed down for another occasion. If it’s a full-length dress, consider having it altered to a tea-length so it can be worn again with a whole new personality.

4. Is There a Bridesmaid-Gown Style That Flatters Everyone?

Most bridal parties include women with a number of body types, so it can be difficult to select a dress that will make everyone happy. Not only do A-line gowns flatter almost every figure, it is absolutely okay to choose one dress and ask your bridesmaids to wear it You are the bride, after all. Just be sensitive select a dress the maid who’s a size 16, not the one who’s a size 6, and be sure to suggest a good tailor who can help fit each dress properly. If you want to make sure everyone wears something that’s flattering to her individual figure, consider choosing a color (and length, if you wish), and allowing the bridesmaids to pick their own gowns. For additional coherency, have them choose dresses in similar fabrics, such as silk or satin. Separates are also a fantastic option and allow each girl to mix and match skirt and top styles keeping the fabric and color identical for the most flattering combination for her body type.

Let’s Go Over it Again

African weddings still suffer from the dreaded ‘African time-keeping’ tag, but you will not allow this to happen at your best friend’s wedding, or will you? Ensure the rehearsal does happen, even if no one else thinks a rehearsal is a good idea. Find out exactly the order of the day. When is the bride arriving? Who’s sitting where on the high table? What’s the phone number of the caterer, musician, florist? Account for all sorts of mishaps and work out your contingency plan. If the DJ lets them down, do you know someone who could step in at a moment’s notice? Even if the bride is organizing the rehearsal, you need to be there and remember exactly what is meant to happen because with the stress and nerves of the day, someone might forget and it’s up to you to put things back on track again and you’ll be adored for it.

Best man

• He is the groom’s right-hand man and the troubleshooter on the big day. He is usually the best friend, brother, cousin or even the groom’s father.
• He should be highly reliable, cool under pressure, smart, effortlessly charming, and a brilliant public speaker.

Wedding Day Responsibilities:

• Responsible for organizing grooms’ men activities.
• Always offer to stand by the groom’s side always and not just on the big day.
• Organizes a bachelor party/stag party for the groom and preferably in consultation with the groom rather than springing any surprises. It should of course, take place well ahead of the wedding day. We’re not going to go into too much detail here as to what you get up to on the stag night. Make sure everyone he wants can be there and can afford it and that they all have the time of their lives. Be safe, be legal, be cool. Make the bride your ally by making sure she will trust you not to get the groom in too much trouble on his stag night (you sly little devil, you!).
• He should be involved in planning the wedding so that he knows what should happen at any given time.
• Make sure the groom arrives at the wedding on time and in the right suit. Help the groom along the task of finding suitable outfits you’ve seen in the magazines like this one you are holding now, or even arrange a boy’s day out and treat him to a ready-to-measure three piece, that’ll leave the single girls crying at the altar! And while you are at it, get yourself something stunning after all, you’ll be the one they’ll all be swooning over…Under no circumstances should you pick an outfit for yourself that’s better than his, however much he might say it suits you. He needs to look as a prince, as the bride will look majestic, she’ll think you’re her Best Man too (don’t underrate this point-you still want to be invited round his house once he’s married, don’t you?) If you are hiring or arranging the purchase of morning suits or tuxedos, it’s up to you to arrange everyone (groom, attendants and so on) to meet for fittings – and take responsibility to ensure everyone pays their deposit, purchase or rental fee.
• Accompany the groom to all traditional ceremonies including dowry discussions and payments.
• Carrying the rings.
• Assist in applying for marriage licence.
• As a witness to the wedding, he also gets to sign the marriage certificate.
• Acts as an official especially when the groom is at his most nervous state. Both civil and religious ceremonies legally require witnesses, even if family members make up that quota, the groom would feel a lot happier knowing his best man in the vicinity.

On the Day Responsibilities:

• He gives the groom a good breakfast or lunch and soothes his nerves.
• Keeps groom on schedule by making sure the groom turns up to the venue on time and looks his best.
• He ensures the groom’s going-away suit is at the reception venue and that the tickets, passports and transport are easily at hand.
• He also makes sure that the buttonholes for the groom, himself and the ushers are all delivered.
• Drives groom to ceremony site and sees that he is properly dressed before the wedding.
• Checks the ushers to know what they’re doing and keeps the groom calm as he waits for his bride to arrive.
• Pays the clergyman, musicians, photographer and any other service provider on the wedding day.
• Holds the bride’s ring for the groom, if no ring bearer, until needed by officiant.
• He may also act as a witness for the signing of the register.
• Drives the newlyweds to reception if there is no driver hired.
• At the reception, he may act as master of ceremony to announce the entrance of the bride and groom and also introduce the speakers. Finally, he delivers his speech, which should be witty and generous.
• Offers to toast first at the reception.
• Dances with the maid of honor during the bridal party dance.
• May drive couple to airport or honeymoon suite.
• Oversees the return of tuxedo rentals for the groom and ushers, on time and in good condition.

Grooms Men

• By contrast they have it easy. They tend to be close relations and old friends.
• They also double up as ushers.

What Are Their Duties?

• Their job is to seat guests correctly ie brides family to the left and groom’s family to the right and reserve the front rows for family.
• These are usually friends or relatives of the groom and they can sometimes double as ushers but usually do not have as many duties as the best man.
• They are required to be at the rehearsal to familiarize themselves with entrance, exit and bathroom locations for the guests’ comfort and learn the seating arrangements.
• Assist with any final details and hand out the programmes to guests.
• Manage seating arrangements by escorting the guests to their seats as per the guest’s relationship to the couple.
• During the ceremony, groomsmen escort the bridesmaids down the aisle.
• Ensure that everyone departs from the church in an orderly manner.
• The groomsmen and ushers mingle with the guests at the reception and give any assistance and perhaps propose a few toasts.